Kecek-kecek Sendiri...

Ucapan terima kasih

2009-11-10T23:37:00.002+08:00

Salam,

Sehingga hari ini saya masih menerima beberapa email yang mengucapkan terima kasih untuk BBKS. Owh, belum ada yang cuba untuk kutuk mungkin takut dimarahi ustaz Xarine. Ahaa...

Oleh kerana blog ini menukilankan tulisan ustaz Xarine, maka kadang-kala rasa tidak selesa juga untuk incik Khairi ber hu ha hu ha macam biasa. Sehingga terfikir untuk buat blog 'suku' (blog lain) untuk Xarine. Akan tetapi saya menerima konsep keterbukaan seorang manusia di mana seorang manusia itu hatinya berbolak-balik. Di depan isteri dia merah jambu. Di majlis ilmu dia hijau. Di jalan raya dia merah. Dia tempat kerja putih ia. Sesuai bahawa blog ini tulisan terus dari hati saya, saya menjangkakan ia dipenuhi unsur-unsur nurani, ilahiyah, emosional, gedik, juga unsur seks yang tidak keterlaluan.

Sejak bila blog saya ada unsur2 lucah? haha. Imaginasi semata-mata. Ok, nanti saya buat poll yes or no. ;p

Alhamdulillah, saya ada menerima beberapa email yang mengucapkan terima kasih, tahniah, dan puji-pujian untuk BBKS. Tidaklah layak untuk saya yang selekeh ini menerima itu semua bahkan malu saya untuk menadah tangan mengakui. Sungguh amatlah jauh antara Khairi dan Imran tu sebenarnya. Cuma Khairi hensem sikit daripada Imran.haha (sile angguk sekarang sambil klik2 iklan nuffnang saya ;p)

Ada juga adik yang bertanya, "abang Khairi, ini kisah benar ke? Suzila itu benar-benar wujud ke?"

Saya tanya kembali sambil berdebar-debar tahap orang gila glemer, "Kenapa?"

"Sebab saya baca macam real. Saya rasa mmg real. Kirim salam saya dekat kak Suzila ya. Saya sayang dia."

Real? Real? Oh. Sah gila glemer. Dengan hidung kembang kempis saya jawab. "Kak Suzila tak pernah wujud dik. Imran tu pun dongeng semata. Ada juga pengalaman, banyak pula rekaan."

Ia wujud di hati sapa-sapa yang dah baca BBKS. Saya tak tahu sejauh mana BBKS akan pergi, tetapi sungguh kalau setakat ini saja pun saya sudah rasa buahnya. Saya tahu ada beberapa tempat amat ketara kelemahan naratif saya lantaran masih baru, tetapi feedback daripada adik-adik yang 'mendapat sesuatu' daripada BBKS amatlah buat saya terharu dan bersemangat untuk jadi sebaik Imran. Jelas sekali, ianya motivasi dan nasihat utk diri saya sendiri sebenarnya. Saya insyaAllah akan cuba beri yang lebih baik daripada itu selepas ini.

Maka haruslah adik-adik abang-abang kakak-kakak ketahui sementara saya menuju ke arah kesempurnaan, itu (masok kubo), terimalah diri saya yang tidak sempurna ini untuk merapu meraban di blog ini. Saya bukan ustaz malah bukan siapa-siapa. Kalau tak caya tengok gambar kat tepi tu, mana ada ustaz pakai kopiah bulu beruang? kan? kan? Haa...

Hanya satu tujuan saya, agar saya dapat menyenangkan kalian semua. Pukullah saya kalau itu boleh buat kalian gembira. Tidak ada apa yang boleh saya tinggalkan di dunia ini melainkan ingatan kalian semua terhadap saya. Hanya itu. Moga-moga bila kita berjumpa kembali di alam sana, kalian akan menyapa saya dan beri senyuman pada saya. Saya tahu dengan apa yang saya sekarang, saat itu (akhirat) pasti amat sukar untuk saya tempuhi. Hanya rakan-rakan seperti kalian yang saya ada. Moga Allah merahmati kita semua dan memudahkan pengembalian kita. :)

Pelik nye rasa kalo dah meninggal kan? Camne ekkk..

Line internet paling best?

2009-11-09T11:06:00.006+08:00

Oh ahaa... kenapa saya online malam2 ni? Apa maknanya? Gedik giles. Aha. Maka mengenangkan diri yang sengkek (Engineer bukan loaded seperti disangka ya) maka inilah akhirnya pilihan saya uhuhu.

Boleh laaa... RM49 hingget aje. Potong la duit lunch saya. Kalau dulu makan sayur 2 jenis, sekarang kena ambik sejenis je sayur. Kalau xcukup, boleh upgrade aje. :)

Jom Potong! Potong! Potong!

***

Berubah wajah lagi, bukan wajah tukang post yang bertopi bulu dengan spek mata hitam itu, tetapi wajah blog ini. Godek-godek ketika mana ada kelapangan di rumah. Kemas templet ini, background putih, sekurang-kurangnya tak lah ralat sangat kalau tiba-tiba rakan sekerja lalu kat belakang. :)

Oh ye. Kalau korang klik pada link 'Jenis-jenis post' tu, korang akan nampak list tajuk-tajuk dalam post tu, bukan the whole post body. Itu aje, macam bagus haha.

Oh, dan satu lagi widget mcm bagus, kat kaki pos tu, pos sini saya refer pada post/entry eh, bukan pos laju atau pos ekspress. Widget mcm bagus tu adalah widget otakkatluar, outbrain. Saya suka, tiru Faisal Tehrani. 'Links within' best gaks ada thumbnails, tapi takde bintang ah. Korang yang tak bubuh, bubuh lah sebab semenjak bubuh widget macam bagus tu, nisbah pageload/visit meningkat. Iaitu makin ramai orang datang dan selongkar arkib melalui link2 yang di'related'kan. Katanya, akan meningkatkan pendapatan nuffnang Ontahlaa... Macam slow aje duit masuk. (Blog ko berapa org je masuk ngok! - Nuffnang)

Dan comments saya ada nombor (cara2 org buta IT show off ;p). Thanks to Green Lava. <-- Set2 Kelate aka Red Warriors ni. (Warrior taik kucen!)

***

Salams,

2 3 hari lepas saya try Digi Max5. Tapi slow, mungkin sebab bukan sim 3G, lepas tu guna N82 saya saja sbg model. Eh, modem.

Selepas ini mahu taruk line internet lah kat rumah sebab kalau boleh online malam2 tu rasa syahdu je. Bleh taip pos tanpa takut2 mcm sekarang.

Tengah usha broadband apa paling best, nanti aku try buat conclusion kat bawah nnt.

Korang ada idea tak ---> broadband apa paling best? Digi? Celcom? Maxis? streamyx? P1? Amax? Izzi?

***

65 ribu ore kelate pergi bukit Jalil...

2009-11-07T22:24:00.009+08:00

... untuk tengok korang main macam orang gila? Orang nak tengok korang main bola bukan main telo.

Wth? Tampan bola bg kat orang? Kena rasuah ke apa mung ni weh?

MEmang saya betul-betul tengah bengang dengan team bola ni main mcm main bola pakai ketiak. Kalau nak tampan bola bagi kat orang sumbat gol baik mung balik isap susu la wei. Korang tengok tak ni live ni TV1 ni? Tengok tak pertahanan kelate asyik bagi bola kat Zaquan dengan Hairudin. Tak berlatih ke? ke tak makan nasi? Aku rasa baik dia duduk diam2 tepi tiang gol, baru hairudin ngn zakuan tak dapat bola.

Ni mmg konfem kalah la ni dah 3 0 dah. Habis lah lepas ni.

65000 orang ke stadium untuk tengok budak-budak tu main macam takde telur. Kita tengok kereta sapa kena bakar malam ni.

Stupid!

p/s: bakar bakar bakar!!

***

Kan dah emo. Kita peminat bola bukan tak boleh terima kekalahan. Tapi tak boleh terima kalau kalah tak bermaruah. Mainlah dengan elok, korang tu professional, bukan budak-budak kampung main pakai kaki ayam catuk guna ibu jari kaki. Apa kes main macam tu? Berlatih hari-hari, orang bayar bukan nak tengok korang bagi bola kat orang, Tensen gile tengok korang main bola.

Kesian sek-sek kelate pakat gi penuh semangat tapi tengok korang main langsung tak professional.

***

Wahaha. Dah nak habis baru sumbat gol. Sila korek idung semua utk raikannya wahaaha. Ampes! Nasib baik Shebby SIngh takde kat TV1, kalau tak mesti dia ckp mcm bagus kutuk kelantan kau kau.

Bagi aku, Sathianathan tak boleh marah2 kat bangku simpanan tu, duk diam2 la, ni duk terpekik-pekik, dah la anak2 buah ko pressure, ko pun pressure juga. susu plak tak cukup sorang-sorang sepak bola pakai ketiak. Passing tak pernah pass. Apa punya main bola. Saya marah2 kat sini takpe Khalid Jamlus tak tau pun.

3-1 kalah. Well done kepada negeri sembilan, korang memang berhak menang 9 - 0 sebenarnya. Sathia, jgn lupa beli susu kat back ko. Dan lain kali suruh dia sepak pakai kaki bukan lutut.

***

Shukor Adan? Man of the match. Aku ingat dapat kat Zaquan. Oh ye, Zaquan tak perlu main bagus2 untuk gelecek pertahanan kelantan tu wahaha. Tunggu je dpt bola.

Kesian korang. isk isk.

***

Gelegak kena geletek.

2009-11-06T17:36:00.001+08:00

(Cilok dari sini)

Tadi lunch dengan brader ni. Makan nasi ngan ikan sardin apabila diprovoke kaw kaw oleh saudari ini.

Masuk blog putrixue ini tadi, ternampak pada side bar dia petak yang bertajuk 'Mesti Baca'. Ada tiga link, SaifulIslam, UZAR, dan kereta mayat.

Teruja. Oh, teruja dot kong akan saya cerita sebentar lagi. Yang ini teruja akan blog kereta mayat yang diletak sebaris dengan ust Hasrizal dan Ust Zaharudin.

Apalagi menggelegak udara dalam perut saya ketawa sebaik membaca blog kereta mayat ini. Adeh. Saya dah listkan beliau. Entry2 beliau panjang-panjang, maka tak tahan la plak mata nak menatap lama2.

Ok, teruja. Dah lama tak masuk teruja. Pergi sign in tadi, baca pos fasal pantun. (Tak sign in takleh eses forum kemut lah korang weh wahaha) Tak sangka member2 saya kat situ semua pandai berpantun. Mat Burn & Bewok, sila ajak mereka beramai-ramai ke sini hehehe.

Seriously, pantun yang tidak kedapatan di mana2. Aneh, misteri, bedebah, jahanam, kuning, biru, hijau, kurap, panau semua ada. Buat saya gelak guling2 di ofis ini sedang orang lain semua serious dengan kerja.

Adesss kawan2, lupa sekejap akan kerja. Maka saya bersangka baik untuk terus menjelma di sini hari Isnin nanti (kalau sy meninggal besok lusa, inilah entri paling berhantu di alam maya) agar sy bleh sambung wat keje la. Jangan suruh saya ke laman kereta mayat dan teruja dot kong lagi. Sungguh tak jadi kerja!

Pssssssssssttttttt: usha kat rumah takpa lah. Nak pakai brokben apa ek. P1 wimax tadi promoter dia cun lol. ;p

Mengamuk karang dia!

2009-11-06T11:14:00.002+08:00

Hari tu Digi bagi internet access untuk pengguna Prabayar dengan RM5 sehari tanpa limit. Saya pun cubalah guna kat rumah dibantu oleh Dell Inspiron kaler hitam milik adik ipar saya. Takdelah best sangat sebab lembab, download firefox 3.5 pun @ 6.5kbs ja.

Hal demikian juga bermakna kala ini orang rumah saya boleh baca blog saya dari rumah dan seterusnya cari modal untuk gaduh, merajuk, dan dapat aiskrim free. Dah lama tak gado ni haha.

Jadi saya nak bagitahu la pada dia dan semua yang entry lepas tu untuk contest tu ja tak ada kaitan dengan tukang post yang sengih gatal pakai topi bulu2 kat sebelah tu. Tengah malam semalam sambil2 sembang ngan adik yang baru pulang kerja, sempatlah tulis secara pendek saja nak tengok macam mana kalau2 ada respond haih, kalau la bleh menang dengan entry 10 minit tu. wahaha.

***

Saya manusia yang dinamik, bukan dinamik bererti bijak dan pantas tapi berubah-ubah. Kadang lurus, kadang emo, kadang alim banget, kadang bengong jugak, kadang betul, byk kadangnya salah. Dan kat blog ni lah saya belajar untuk tulis atau belasah semua genre tulisan, sedih, berinti, merapu, kelakar (kelakar ke?), berinfomasi, bertatabahasa, berguna, ber'takberguna', syair (xjadi), dan sebagainya semata-mata untuk mengasah 'deria tulis' atau 'deria genre' untuk edit manuskrip saya.

Saya perlu menjadi semua orang yang saya tulis, menjiwai watak kata orang filem. Dalam novel untuk ditulis pula macam2 watak ada. Nak menjiwai watak2 tu semua, saya kenalah berfikiran serupa mereka, ada yg tolol, ada yg kelakar, ada yg baik dan ada yg jahat. Nak terjemahkan mereka-mereka ini dalam lembar buku boleh buat ketiak berpeluh meleleh sampai ke keyboard. Oh please jgn sium* keyboard laptop saya! haha

[sium bukan cium tapi =hidu]

Terima kasih pada yang selama ini membaca dan mengomen aka mengomel. ;p

My top 5 treat list

2009-11-05T23:36:00.005+08:00

First time I attempt my sponsor's contest ha. Well, trying my luck lol. Who knows winning this will be my sixth impossible treats that comes true yuhuu. Ok, the 5 treats first...

1. I want to be a famous blogger with 4000 pageloads a day and thousands of followers.

2. After that, I wish all of them (my followers) are girls. Ehem.

3. Later, the most beautiful among them become my wife yeehaaa.

4.My 4th treat is to have a silent night with her at Dubai beaches under the blue moon, fuh, that's the end of it.

Wait! How to get those without a laptop? I cannot blog on a calculator dowh! Oh, I am too stupid and ugly to get a job.

5. My last and foremost wish of treat, I need that sleek and handsome Dell Inspiron 13 in my hands. Therefore, it can complete everything. Beside that, it also make me look handsome and smart!

Pondan

2009-11-05T14:51:00.011+08:00

Tak percaya. Lebih cantik dari perempuan. Gambar itu saya google dan touch up sikit supaya tak menguningkan lagi mata sesiapa. Itu gambar INCIK Haruna Ai yang baru-baru ni menang pertandingan ratu pondan di Thailand.

Believe it or not? Believe it!

Err... ok, ini bukan rancangan Ripleys dan saya bukan Dean Cain

Adapun keluarnya POS ini kerana saya merasa kagum akan kebijaksanaan penyamaran kaum ini mengalahkan sotong kurita. Mungkin kerana itu sebenarnya mereka digelar 'sotong', bukan sebab 'ketiadaan tulang'.

Akan tetapi ada juga penyamaran jadi tidak menjadi apabila unsur-unsur kejantanan terlalu sukar untuk dinafikan. Mungkin kerana faktor ini mereka tidak menyertai pertandingan di Thailand tempoh hari. Ini para peserta 'tak jadi' dari Afrika.

Gile taf.

Ada 2 sahabat hantar emel gambar-gambar (byk, tunjuk satu je) depa ni kat email saya. Adeh, kejang perut tengok. perasan tak yang pakai skaf kepala merah tu muka dia macam Kolo Toure, centre back Man City (dulu Arsenal) hahaha. Sile klikbesarkan untuk lihat misai dia.

Walau bagaimana pelik pun kejadian itu di mata kita, tidaklah pula boleh untuk kita sesuka hati mempermainkan perasaan mereka. Kerana kekeliruan perasaanlah mereka jadi begitu sebenarnya. Maafkan saya.

Mungkin molek kalau dikelasifikasikan kejanggalan ini sebagai penyakit sosial masyarakat umumnya. Maka apabila faktor pilihan sendiri itu kita letak bersebelahan dengan faktor-faktor lain seperti faktor ketentuan semulajadi (khunsa), ibu bapa, pendedahan, rakan-rakan dan faktor persekitaran; maka tidaklah boleh untuk kita menyalahkan lelaki-lelaki 'patah' ini dengan cara mencaci, menghina, memandang rendah, mengumpat, apatah lagi mencederakan mereka. Silap-silap kita yang sebenarnya cedera parah.

Sungguh kita tidak akan pernah memahami perasaan mereka.

Pernah saya melihat di dalam komuter seorang lelaki bertubuh kasar sebesar beruang menjadi pondan. Dengan fizikal dan bulu-bulunya, cukup untuk buat saya mual kerana dia memakai baju kurung, gincu, anting2 dan kasut tumit tinggi saiz XXL. Saya tengok tumit kasut dia yang tinggi lurus kurus itu macam tak logik aje boleh menampung lemak-lemak serta bulu-bulu pemakainya. Selamanya saya tidak akan memahami dia.

Pernah juga saya ke sebuah bank Maybank. Dua orang costumer relation officer dia dua-dua pondan. Seorang daripadanya nampak sangat lelaki, seorang lagi tak nampak. Mati-mati saya ingat dia perempuan. Sorang lelaki sorang perempuan, good service strategy la kan? Apatah lagi ketika bercakap berhadapan dengan saya yang berpakaian kemas ketika itu, dia buat-buat batuk dan betul-betulkan suara dia. Percayalah saya bahawa suaranya sumbang kerana sakit tekak semata.

Sekali ada orang call dia lantas membongkarkan bahawa nama dia sebenarnya Zaidi (bukan nama sebenar weh) sambil dia terpaksa mengaku, 'ya ni Zaidi la ni cakap niii...' terus hilang batuk dia.

Tahukah korang bahawa perasaan manis dan baik-baik seorang lelaki terhadap seorang perempuan cantik dikantoikan dengan cara sebegitu amat meloyakan?

Allah. Mengucap panjang.

Takde rasa untuk menjatuhkan maruah sapa-sapa yang lembut kerana saya simpati dan kasihan sebenarnya mereka dilanda masalah sebegitu. Tapi, come on lah, janganlah sampai berpakaian perempuan setara mana pun lembut kita. Kalau dah tak tahan sangat, pakai kat dalam bilik dah la, jangan umumkan. Bagi saya, saya boleh terima kawan dengan lelaki lembut, tetapi yang berpakaian perempuan itu saya rasa itu sudah melampaui batas. Dan saya harap kalau ada kawan-kawan lelaki saya yang ke arah itu janganlah cuba untuk rekruit atau menggalakkan adik-adik untuk jadi seperti korang, cukuplah sampai diri sendiri saja. Dan beri yang terbaik untuk orang yang kita sayang seterusnya orang-orang lain.

Allah Maha mengetahui apa yang ada di dalam hati. :)

***

Pssssttt: Cerita lagi best fasal 'pondan' ada kat SINI.

A tooth story. A story nobody can tell.

2009-11-03T15:15:00.013+08:00

Salams to all,

Even though ‘stories of the day’ are about X-mufti Perlis. I am not going to add that. Many people already talked about him including our PM (buying vote ha?), whereas who will talk about me except me myself, right? Well, this is my blog anyway hehe.

I am his fan.

I mean, Dr Asri fan. He always get my ‘half’ support for all of his thoughts. Another half goes to my Red Worriors haha. Go to Bukit Jalil? Not go? Go? No? Err… I think all tickets are sold out already, am I right?

(Cilok dari sini)

Now. Let’s talk about me.

The tooth story.

I was born in Friday morning, 1981. Small and weak, I can’t remember things happened around me that time. Of course lah.

Growing up, I started to remember things.

“Tapi ini gigi kekal? Mungkin boleh repair.” Said a ‘misi cun’.

“Cabut je lah. Asyik sakit je.” There goes my mother.

This took place in Sekolah Kebangsaan Pasir Pekan. The two lines of conversations that I still remember taking place right on my face. Leaving me wondering when I have enough capability to analyze why my teeth are different from others.

Yes, they are, the teeth, not all there.

There are laws inflicted to the teeth. When one tooth taken out, the other will move slowly little by little to fill in the blank. Until eventually, the gap closed giving no chance for plague to stick there. However, the gap on my teeth doesn’t close. It also doesn’t move at least to minimize the gap or to average out the gap like muslims standing during Friday prayer at Masjid Negara with averaged gaps between them leaving 'plague' in the heads.

Ok. The teeth. The gap is at the front. Slightly to the left. This had effected my appearance and confidence therefore effected my social, thoughts and conscience. It was hard to smile. I refused almost all social gatherings. I walked away from girls. And my firm face was enough to make a police at a road-block to stop my car and check my car bonet. Haha. Not like that la, but always they checked my ID. Not joke ha, every time I found road block, I was not waived like 99% of the others. My smile appeared to be like a drug smuggler's smile who was hiding syabus in anus.

After graduation, I loss my girlfriend I think because of that. Oh, I don’t know the real thing in her heart, but it is a normal human feeling to have good looking boyfriend. Am I right?

Going into career life, things getting more difficult for me. I was, at that time, an engineer in a well known factory. Girls are of course many. And me stood there, in front of the production line as an engineer - the most popular title in the world. Production girls love to have male engineer way more than annual bonus because an engineer can give them triple of that. But, what was wrong with that engineer who cannot steadily smile and approach any of the girls? Was he gay? Doesn't he have telor? I wanted that, hang around, laugh, see each other, have a good conversation, but I really couldn't.

Until one day I talked to myself, can’t I change this? Why should I be this way without doing anything? I know I can't just hope things changed by themself. I also can't just tell the tooth to get out and grow nicely. This body isn't mine, it belongs to the Almighty Allah. There are laws in it. I can not grow my own tooth because everything around me including myself is belong to Allah, not mine. It is a product of evolution initiated by a BANG, created by Allah. I can not just pray. Yes, Allah Maha Besar, miracle is small the pieces. But then it is me at the end to decide and to work that out!

That is life after all. If Allah interferes on everything, how life will be? You will see superman everywhere. haha.

Then I decided to put my life on it. Die or live good.

I sought for technologies. It is called dental implant. I consulted a dentist without any fee (he is my friend lol) about the technology. I made friend with Dr Hasmah, implant specialist. She had discovered that I was ‘naturally’ not given the teeth. Oh, God, why me?

I said, “That is impossible.”

She said, “Teeth have seeds from the time you born. Normally, they are all there. But in your case, you have no left and right incisor/cutting teeth (kacip). I am sorry dear, they are not given to you. What you have here is canine teeth (taring) that moved to the front and join your front teeth (kapak)”

I said, “I am so sad. Can you help me?”

She smiled. And I wanted that beautiful smile so much, she can take my car for that. Your car? Kete wira hitam tu? Heh!

Dr Hasmah adviced me to do Orthodontics first to line the teeth up. I was then introduced to Dr Chong, orthodontics specialist. He briefed me up how he is going to do it. What risk I am taking. What should I expect, and what kind of sufferings will I have.

My feeling? My feeling was terrible. I wish I died instantly. Since I was a baby, I don’t like dentist. They are not my friend. Now, I have to show them my ugly teeth every two weeks. But later I found dentists are my angels. I love them, I adore them.

Teeth are case sensitive for most of the people. They don’t like to share teeth problem as it can be hide. The problem arises when they need to smile or to talk in close position.

From that day I learned to share that feeling with Dr Chong. He is gentle. He nicely put braces on my teeth, so gentle as if he was putting love on my heart. The braces will line the teeth up and create two comfortable spaces or gaps for two implants in about 2 years. Putting that steels in mouth was scary. It was like a cage in my mouth. Hurting my lips, my mouth walls. I couldn’t eat for few weeks. And also, I was ashame to be seen with that “sissy’ stuff.

“Hang ni pakai braces buat apa, hang bukan hensem pon.” One of my friend said. Ok, that’s stupid.

“Aku rasa baik pergi cabut balik la braces tu Khairi.” Said another.

I went home and cried just like a sissy. Hurt in the mouth and in the heart.

Life was hard. During the period of wearing braces, only two friends I had. Dentist and books. I transform myself into a kera sumbang. I read books alone. It was like I was being enlightened when I love books that I hate before. Motivational books. Thanks God, many things I have learned all that while.

One and half year, I freed my teeth from those steels. The moment it was plucked off, I felt like I have a mouth of a baby. Clear and sound. The only thing left were the two gaps that must be filled with artificial teeth – implant. I don’t want to be a regular user of polident, please!

So there it goes. It is like the chain saw, saw my chin. Grr grr grr…

I was taken to Hospital Seberang Jaya for the implant process where I met Dr Saiful and his wife. They explained me on that. The risk that I might get my sinus broke, paralyzed and dead. Well, just kill me with your tooth plucker doc. Hell I care with that risks after all. Get me to the operation room now.

Ok. To do the implant, they opened up my sweet pinky gum. After anesthetized surely. It was cut into halves like my wife cut fish belly to wash it. My blood was red, but not as red as my blood in other limbs. I felt no hurt, like my wife’s dead fish. Well, it was nice huh.

Erk, sorry incik fish.

Back to me. After cutting the gum and opened it up until the bone exposed, they have to drill a hole at that shiny white surface of the bone. In my case it was at the upper side bone. The chill little driller. It sounds like the one used to make a hole before to patch a tooth. That drilled tooth lol, this drilled bone. How to spell that sound here? Ciiingggg… grrriiiiinngggg… Euww…

Dr Saiful used a basic stepping up method. Smaller drill first. Then bigger and bigger untill they get the hole diameter which they satisfied. Smaller drill went nice. But the bigger driller just like the chain saw. My brain got earth quake. I felt dizzy. I might pass out, said dr saiful earlier. During drilling, they kept measuring the hole.

“Cukup?” Asked his wife.

“Sikit lagi.” Dr Saiful said.

Then they drilled again.

“Cukup?”

“Err… ok kot.”

Hey you are talking about my bones remember. What ‘kot’ ‘kot’? Be firm. I said in my heart. It was informed that if they over drilled my skull, they could break up to my sinus.

When they drilled again, I saw my white hard-earned calcium flew in the air. A google saved my eyes from the white dust. The process took about 2 hours which I felt like 2 years. In the middle of the process, I asked for a break as I could not hold my mouth open any longer. So tiring. My jaw shivered, uncontrolled. When I wanted to open it, it shivered again.

They finished drilling after the short rest.

Ok, Please stop drilling or I gave up.

Finally. The teeth crown was then installed by screwing it down into the hole. Like I screwed my cup board plates together with bolts. They then choose the color of the tooth to match my teeth. It took 2 months for them to fabricate the artificial tooth.

And they finally nicely put it there. The tooth in the crown. The crystal beautiful tooth.

I now have all my teeth back. I can smile to the policeman and waived. I wrote book and smile to my readers. I got married and smile to everybody. I can get on the stage and sing.

My advice to friends that have problem like me. Nobody will understand you except yourself. They will keep telling you lies so that you are comfortable with them.

"You look okay for me."

"You are thin enough."

"You are not fat."

That's normal. But the thought that this life is once make me come to the front and accept the challenge. Many things in front of us if Allah gives us the chance. It is just up to us to decide where to go and how.

Absyar @ 5 bulan.

2009-11-02T15:49:00.002+08:00

"Pepatung." Kata seorang wanita Cina ketika kami keluar dari kereta di parking lot Carefour.

"Apa? Pepatung." Aku cari penjelasan daripadanya.

"Eh, tak." Wanita cina berambut kerinting mengerbang itu cubit pipi Absyar yang didukung Ja. "Dia ini, serupa patung. Comel."

"Oh." Sengih.

Oleh kerana Absyar itu kecil (5.5 kilo @ 5 bulan), serta berwajah bulat dan bermata besar (rambut takde) dia memang comel.

Sepanjang bersiar-siar bersama Absyar, ramai wanita/gadis cina memuji Absyar. Yang berbangsa melayu ada tapi sangat jarang. Maaf kalau kedengaran saya masukkan Absyar dalam bakul dan angkat sendiri selama ini. Sebenarnya, memang saya kena angkat dia malam2, buat badan jadi tough haha. Lepas tu asyik nak melompat-lompat buat belakang saya sedikit nyeri.

Mengikuti perkembangan peperiksaan rutin Absyar hari Rabu minggu lepas, saya dapati Absyar masih berada di dalam zon kuning - kurang zat makanan. Bukan sebenarnya dia kurang zat, tetapi kerana di awal usianya dia terlalu kecil. 2 kilogram (zon merah). Perkembangannya, justeru, adalah sebenarnya normal dan sihat. Dia cuma perlukan masa untuk catch up dengan rakan2nya yang lain. InsyaAllah, dalam pemeriksaan seterusnya, dia akan berada di zon normal merujuk kepada pengekstrapolasian graf pertumbuhannya.

Akibat dicucuk, sudah dua hari suhu badannya tidak stabil dan mula batuk-batuk akibat dia suka menggigit barang2 tanpa periksa.

Panduan menulis novel yang sedap dibaca

2009-10-30T18:37:00.008+08:00

Orang kata tak sedar diri. Tapi ada saya kesah? haha.

Ya, ya, saya baru menulis sebiji buku yang belum habis dijual pun. Tapi tak ada pula rasa janggal atau malu untuk saya menulis tips-tips "Panduan menulis novel yang sedap dibaca."

Sebenarnya, tips-tips yang ditulis oleh seorang pembaca boleh jadi lebih baik daripada seorang penulis. Tetapi mungkin pembaca itu segan atau tidak cekatan menulis buat dia kehabisan nahu untuk menjelaskan maksud nuraninya yang secara jahatnya berbunyi, "beb, novel hang tak sedap la beb. sorry la ek. Hang patut tulih camni..."

Jadi saya cuba untuk memandai di sini untuk menjelaskan bagaimanakah sebenarnya cara atau panduan atau langkah terbaik untuk menghasilkan sebuah novel yang, secara puratanya, sedap dibaca.

Layankan aje...

1) Tips asas perlu didahulukan. Maka tips pertama untuk menulis novel dengan baik adalah gunakan kesepuluh-sepuluh jari semasa menaip (apa punya tips haha). Ya, betul. Perlu diingat selalu bahawa otak kite tidak selemah pentium duo core 2 2.5 gig/s itu, kerana otak adalah sebiji mukjizat yang cukup besar. Bayangkan isi-isi idea yang keluar sepantas 20000 gig/s ditaip oleh dua jari telunjuk? Letih ok Kapal Titanic guna enjin bot diesel pom pom pom.

2) Stick to the point! atau dalam bahasa Melayu - Tumpu pada tajuk. Jangan duk melalut ke lain. Kadang idea terlampau banyak sampaikan semasa menaip slow tu, muka jadi kemerahan menahan idea yang membuak-buak mahu keluar seperti tahan berak time jamban tak ada (pengalaman beb ;p). Berapa banyak idea pun yang ada, pilih idea-idea yang relevan dengan topik sahaja. Kalau nak cerita pasal Jack dan Betti bercinta dalam lokap, jangan pula terbabas sampai cerita pasal pokok pisang Jack, kucing Betti mati, aliran trafik di Pudu Raya yang takde kaitan langsung dengan cinta Jack dan Betti dalam lokap.

"Jack kesunyian dalam lokap, dia lalu teringatkan pokok pisangnya yang pasti turut kesepian. Pokok pisang itu pemberian bapa tiri jirannya oh..." Please forget it.

4) Kesinambungan dari plot ke plot seterusnya. Tiada masalah kalau penulis stick to the point, plot sungguh tidak akan lari. Tetapi menjadi masalah apabila penulis memerlukan perenggan flash-back atau informasi di dalam naratifnya. Jadi, sempadan antara dua plot mesti jelas. Jangan pula ralit-ralit kita baca pasal kejadian bunuh, lapor polis, jumpa pisau berlumuran darah kemudian rupa-rupanya hero sedang berkhayal dalam jamban semata, ingatkan betul-betul.

3) Pandai olah emosi pembaca. Jangan tulis terlalu serius, jangan terlalu santai, jangan asyik gelak HA HA HA, jangan terlalu lucah, pendek kata jangan keterlaluanlah. Sedap-sedap saja elemen-elemen tersebut. Novel yang baik adalah novel yang seimbang dengan unsur lawaknya, saspensnya, sedihnya, dan bahagianya. Novel yang terlalu serius bukan sebuah novel tetapi layak untuk diklasifikasikan sebagai buku non-fiction, buku ilmiah atau buku akaun bank ;p.

Cuba untuk renggut jantung pembaca dengan melakar kisah ceria dan manis sebelum tiba-tiba melanggar perenggan ceria itu dengan tragedi sedih.

5) Untuk menerbitkan wap-wap emosi ke dalam diri pembaca, pemilihan kata perlu sesuai dengan genre emosi itu. Agar suasana sedih benar-benar sedih, suasana kelakar benar-benar kelakar, dan suasana berat benar-benar berat. Kalau nak buat plot lawak, gunakan perkataan santai atau bombastik. Time serius, gunakan term-term serious, informatif, skema dan ikut standard.

6) Imaginasi. Di muka buku itu perkataan. Di dalam kepala pembaca perkataan itu membentuk imaginasi :-

Serlahkan keperibadian watak. Fizikal, tutur kata, mimik wajah, perangai, dan sebagainya perlu diserlahkah secara penuh unik, yang mana semua ini membezakan antara watak-watak yang ada. Berikan bentuk imaginasi watak ini secara ringkas kepada pembaca mengambil sifat unik yang paling terserlah. Kurus, hitam, kerinting, pakai rantai besi sebesar jari, mata kedip-kedip, hidung kemek dsb.
Gunakan analogi mudah untuk menerangkan keadaan yang lebih kompleks. "Betti yang berbaju kurung memanjat tiang elektrik itu seperti beruk memanjat kelapa." "Di celah runtuhan bangunan yang baru dibom itu Jack menyelusup. Dia merangkak perlahan-lahan menghendap musuh di depan seperti singa menghendap rusa di Afrika."
Gunakan analogi untuk ukuran. Elakkan ukuran spesifik. Jack memungut paip di kakinya yang berdiameter 10cm. 10 cm sukar untuk dibentuk dlm kepala. Cari benda biasa yang berukuran 10cm. Jack memungut paip di kakinya yang berdiameter sebesar katon bulu tangkis/lengan/tin susu pekat manis hah macam2lah. Tahi hidung sebesar lalat. Makhluk asing sebesar gajah. Lubang hidungnya sebesar bola ping pong. Seluas lima biji padang bola. Sebanyak tujuh kolam olimpik. Setinggi flet 5 tingkat.

7) Jelaskan perasaan dalaman watak utama hero/heroin. Persoalan dalam fikiran. Perasaan tertentu seperti kesedihan, putus harapan, kekecewaan, atau kegementaran saat-saat saspens. Juga kelemahan hero/heroin seperti gugup, gelabah, penakut, fobia, dsb.

8) Persoalan dan jawapan. Dua perkara ini akan membuatkan novel yang dibaca sukar untuk diletak. Disinilah terletaknya keterujaan untuk membaca novel. Jangan semata harap novel dibaca sebab pembaca itu suka membaca, kesian dia berpeluh nak habiskan 2 muka surat. Maka di awal-awal bab, susun persoalan-persoalan yang mencanakkan sifat ingin tahu pembaca. Sesungguhnya sifat ingin tahu orang melayu amat raksasa. Orang kata jangan buat, benda itu yang dia nak buat. Orang kata jangan tengok, dia akan korek sampai dapat. Yang 'bulat' takde apa-apa, tapi kalau tutup sikit-sikit tu dia jenguk sampai nak putus urat leher. (ooppsss). Jadi, gunakan kelemahan-kelemahan ini. Cucuk angin orang kata.

9) Nilai. "Buku apa ni tulis benda sampah!" Very hurting to hear this. Jadi, tulislah novel yang bernilai dari segi agama, moral, sosial, ekonomi dan sebagainya. Maka tulislah sesuatu dengan pengetahuan spesifik atau rujukan yang cukup.

10) Peram dan sunting. Manuskrip perlu disunting berkali-kali, semakin disunting, semakin ia menjurus ke arah kesempurnaan. Sebelum disunting, peramkan dahulu ia paling kurang seminggu. Agar kepala kembali neutral, segar, basah dan kembali gebu untuk menyunting manuskrip itu dengan sudut yang baharu dan 'hijau'.

P/S: Saya ahli jurutera, bukan ahli bahasa. Maka panduan ini adalah tips teknikal naratif, bukan tips kesusasteraan bahasa. Ia berdasarkan pengalaman serta analisis sendiri, nasihat rakan-rakan penulis, otai-otai dan carian internet.

Corruption and politics

2009-10-27T17:36:00.006+08:00

1. Corruption is not good for all. All knows.

2. It is not a curse. But corruption seems inseparable from politics. To twist this, it is called 'money politics' by 'them' and dealt internally instead of by court.

(Cilok dari sini)

3. There are uglier stories of corruption than Bagan Pinang winning candidate records. Yesterday, The Star front page stated that around RM23 bil wasted because of overpaid government projects. The main culprit is the direct tender practice instead of open tender basis where the direct tender basis is the 'easy' source of corruption.

4. There are many examples. PKFZ issues. The collapsed stadium in Terengganu. Rapid KL issues. While the unreliable komuter of KTM keeps hunting commuters every day because our government who has oil, gas, lands, palms and brains cannot provide better system than Singapore who has three mounts of gold.

5. It is stated in the Star that the overpaid project was 25% more. Well, can we actually believe that? What if I said it is 200%? The land sold in PKFZ saga is RM25 per square feet compared to the normal price of RM10 per square feet. That is 150%, buddy. So how much the government paid for the yellow-head komuter trains which their air-cond sometimes on sometimes off? If there was no corruption, is it possible to have train system way better than Singapore MRT?

6. Yesterday, 22 pupils felt into a river when a two-week old hanging bridge collapsed. 1 died, 19 fortunate while other two still missing. They should not jump on the bridge because the bridge is not built to stand 22 tiny asses jumping on it. Do you understand? "No," said the pupils, "there is no signboard saying that 'If 22 pupils on the bridge, don't jump. You will fall'"

7. How much the 2010 budget will again be drained because of corruption? How many pupils will die in the river, under the school lab roof, or under the school wall despite the handsome budget?

8. How good is life if we don't have corrupt politicians ass in the parliament seats, I always wonder. It is an easy money but it is not an easy ending. And it is not easy to answer this kind of sin in front of God.

9. Nowadays, many things can be talked about politics and many people talked about it. That's better. It has become like open market pattern where we can see people speak out with brain, gut and integrity to support or reject any ideology without having to brand themselves with blue, red, or green colours.

10. We don't have to agree 100% to be in a political party. 51% is enough already. 100% is pak angguk namanya.

11. Unfair electronics media coverage is one form of corruption.

12. When the ruling party who has grip on media got headache by their internal party problem such as the pornographic model in MCA, they talked about the opposition's internal problem on TV as much as possible. So that, on TV, they look better.

13. The only sin is stealing, like Baba said in the Kite Runner. The other sins are forms of theft.

14. When you corrupt, you steal the money from the vendor or supplier who should get the tender. You also steal the quality of service or facilities paid by tax payers.

15. When you tell lies, you steal somebody's right to know the truth.

16. Liars and corruptors, therefore, go to hell.

FWB or Mihsyar?

2009-10-26T14:48:00.000+08:00

Ada dua fenomena yang menarik perhatian saya. Nampak persamaannya, tetapi besar perbezaannya.

Fuddies vs Misyar

Selepas saya ke laman web mengarut ini, saya ke daily chili selepas melihat snippets news portal itu di akhbar The Star.

Tak pernah dengar pasal FWB (FB tau ler), tau-tau dah menular (katanya si cili tersebut). Jadi saya bacalah cerita FWB. Buat saya teringat pasal kahwin misyar.

Kalau begitu penerimaan non-muslims (or muslims if any) akan fuddies, apa mungkin dapat kita menerima konsep misyar?

Update on 27 Oct:

Sumber: Dr Maza)

Q: Adakah ini juga mendorong kahwin misyar?

DR MOHD. ASRI: Saya antara orang yang menyokong kahwin misyar. Syaratnya, jika wanita berkenaan menghalalkan nafkah zahir, harta dan sebagainya. Kita perlu faham bahawa apabila wanita yang berkedudukan tinggi, lelaki tidak berani meminangnya. Jadi jika wanita itu melamar lelaki dengan tujuan mendapatkan zuriat yang sah serta menghalalkan bab yang lain termasuk tidak kisah jika hanya dapat bersama suami dua malam seminggu, Islam membenarkannya. Masalahnya, masyarakat kita terutama wanita tidak benarkan poligami tetapi perempuan simpanan tidak apa (fuddies?).
Bukan kita menggalakkan poligami tetapi memudahkan. Bagi mereka terutama pertubuhan wanita yang membidas cadangan ini perlu membuat kajian teliti. Jangan terlalu emosi dan hanya memperjuangkan nasib wanita bergelar isteri. Kita jangan mengharamkan apa yang dihalalkan.

Sebab itulah dr maza sangat tekankan untuk kita ringkaskan urusan perkahwinan budak2 kita. kesian kan.

I dont know whether the fizikal contact can be made without feeling of love, of course for me it is nonsense. But well, sometimes, some people thinks other way around.

Misyar bagi aku seperti itulah, 'body kontek' without love dengan akad yang menghalalkan. Halal tidak bererti kita boleh terima seperti sesetengah kita yang tak minat makan ketam yang halal. Macam mana girls nak terima perkara sebegini? Can we say yes that it can be done 'professionally'?

Professionally dikatakan di sini agar ada bezanya dengan sistem perhambaan di masa dahulu di mana seks dengan hamba perempuan dibolehkan.

If they are fine with fuddies, why don't we feel the same with the 'halalled' fuddy, misyar?

pssttt: Komen untuk perbincangan amat dialu-alukan. :)

QC

2009-10-26T10:13:00.006+08:00

Berbual dengan seorang rakan berkenaan QC yang bukan bermaksud QC department tetapi Queen Ctrl. Wajah rakan saya itu kelat.

Ah, tidak dapat saya bayangkan kalau saya kena QC dengan Ja, huhu. Sebenarnya saya lebih dominan, Ja banyak menurut dan acapkali juga saya beritahu jangan terlalu menurut nanti suami awak bosan.

"Makan apa hari ni yang?"

"Abang nak makan apa?"

"Urrmmm... ikan merah masak asam pedas."

"Okeh."

"Makan apa hari ni yang?"

"Entahlah. Abang rasa?"

Bukan begitu caranya memenuhi kehendak nafsu makan suami yang sudah mahu boroi. Buatkan satu kejutan. Tidak saya tahu citarasa suami lain macam mana, tetapi saya sangat sukakan kejutan. Maka isteri perlu lebih kreatif dan berani dalam 'semua' hal. Okeh? ;p

Sesungguhnya mempunyai tabiat kreatif sebegitu tidak akan menjadikan anda seorang QC. Kehidupan kerja di pejabat amat membosankan (terpaksa blogging ;p), oleh itu rumahku syurgaku mestilah sebuah tempat yang ceria, aman dengan kreativiti dan gelak ketawa.

Rakan sepejabat saya berkata, "my wife is creative of course. The final say, however, must be come out from me... but..."

"but what? You hold the final say, that's great enough. "

"but it always is... yes mam." *scratch head*

Sejadah solat?

2009-10-21T10:45:00.003+08:00

(cilok dari sini )

Ya Allah, apa dah jadi? Apakah petanda ini? Orang dah tak mahu sembahyang sampaikan sejadah cakap, 'korang tak mahu sembahyang takpe, biar aku sembahyang sendiri.'

Semalam tonton berita perdana TV#3, gempar di masjid di sebuah sekolah di Pasir Mas kerana semua sejadah dalam masjid tu duduk macam orang sedang duduk antara dua sujud.

"Kita akan kawal surau ini, dan tunggu sampai sejadah ni terbentang balik (habis solat)." Kata abang masuk tivi (pengetua sekolah).

Yang lain sibuk ambil gambar.

Budak yang senget menyelinap masuk masjid sekolah tu sebelum mendudukkan semua sejadah-sejadah yang tak bersalah tu pasti sedang terbahak-bahak golek-golek ketawa menengok pak-pak 'tahyul' merepek dalam tivi.

Saya bukan nak merendahkan akal pemikiran dan rasional siapa-siapa, tetapi sebelum mahu percaya tu apakah salah untuk bertanya.

"Surau ni berkunci tak? Ada kemungkinan sapa-sapa boleh masuk tak?"

"Ada siapa-siapa 'menyaksikan' dengan mata kepala sendiri bahawa sejadah-sejadah soleh dan solehah itu bergerak dari keadaan terlentang perlahan-lahan menjadi seperti piramid atau ketupat tu?"

Kalau ya pun, apa petunjuknya? MasyaAllah, wahai saudara-saudaraku, cubalah bawak mengucap banyak-banyak. Mengapa begitu singkat mahu meletakkan kerja Allah sebegitu tahyul. Allah pencipta sekelian alam. Mencipta makhluk ajaib bernama manusia yang boleh berfikir dengan waras. Menciptakan masa, nukleus, syurga, neraka, planet-planet, oksigen, langit dan bumi. Apa ini semua tak cukup ajaib? *Penat Allah cipta rangkaian-rangkaian fizik ini, 'sejadah ajaib' juga yang mereka percaya.

*Penat Allah firman dalam Quran; afalaa ta'qiluun, afalaaa ta'qiluun, afalaa ta'qiluun... (tak boleh fikirkah?)

(*Allah tidak penat mahupun mengantuk, penat di sini sebagai ajukan semata)

Ini perkara picisan. Mungkin juga perbuatan jin-jin yang ponteng sekolah tak tahu nak buat apa, kalau betul ia berdiri sendiri. Sungguh dangkal otak itu untuk percaya bulat-bulat tanpa mahu cuba untuk menyiasat.

[UZAR tulis]

Absyar tido

2009-10-19T12:48:00.000+08:00

Oh, ini belum tidur ni. Cuba teka dia buat apa?

~~~

Taraa!

"Oi abah," kata Absyar, "apo ngintai adik korek hidung nih?"

;-p

Lepas tu, hisap jari. Bila nak tidur ni adik?

Ok, ini betul dia dah tidur.

Nyenyak dia tidur. Tetapi sebenarnya, kalau nyenyak, posturnya tidak selalu begini.

Tapi begini...

Di dalam buai pula begini...

Dan begini...

Di atas katil, tidurnya begini.

Kemudian begini...

Selimut itu ehsan abah dia takut-takut dia sejuk. Tengok selang masa pergerakan dia kat bawah ni.

Tak padan dengan kecik, budak bernama Absyar ni tidur sangatlah buasnya. Ni entahlah menurun belah abah dia ke ibu dia. Dalam masa 15 minit dia pusing 45 darjah, entah mimpi apa.

Telah ditakdirkan menjadi pengajaran untuk dia, semalam dia jatuh buai. Kalau atas katil tak apa lah sebab lapang. Tapi kat dalam buai bila dia menyepak menunjah menginjak-injak, akhirnya dia berguling jatuh ke bawah.

"Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Itu saja yang kami dengar sebelum kami mendapati beliau bergelimpangan dengan bantal-bantal beliau di bawah buaian.

Kami juga mendapati kepala beliau ada bonjol sedikit, sedikit saja. Lepas tu beliau sengih balik macam tak ada apa-apa.

Happy Deepavali

2009-10-15T12:03:00.005+08:00

There was a Hari Raya 'makan-makan' few days ago. All staff got together to have their unusual lunch in the unusual place - meeting room.

(Well, The usual place for lunch is at Brickfield, a stinging UV away, walking there and back burns one set of lunch just nice.)

After a short speech by a handsome chairman, one man was asked to recite doa - doa selamat, doa makan2 or doa for annual bonus. So this was how the man should say when all muslim colleagues raised their hands while Hindus and Chinese did nothing except blinking.

"All my friends please pray with me. Do as what your religion teach you to do indicating that you are praying. My pray will be a general pray for the God. Except if you don't believe in God (the big bang accidentally exploded like a acchuummm... sneeze) , I can't help. But if you believe there is God out there, please dedicate this pray for Him. How ever He looks like to you, it is solely up to you."

"But we have different God, we should have different pray, shouldn't we?" Someone may asked.

"My friends, TRUTH IS ONLY ONE. The difference is only PERCEPTIONS. What ever thought you may have, always remember that, the truth out there EXIST AS IT IS. God by truth is there as He is as He almighty may knows, the difference is only in our heads. Many people put themselves at the center of 'truthness' instead of TRUTH. The correct way is, there is always TRUTH at the center and we all people just hang around it, some closer, some farther, only God knows."

"Pray for all."

"Selamat Hari Deepavali. :)"

So you think you can dance?

2009-10-14T11:03:00.010+08:00

Oh, it is not my regular tv show. Actually , even watching TV is not my regular activity. Last night, I 'accidentally' watched the show called, 'So you think you can dance?' after warta berita. I knew the show, but I am not really sure how I knew it. So... layan...

One part of the show touch my heart, other parts made me laugh. Ah, that is why I bought the TV, to entertain me, right?

Ok, it was a dancing show, reality one, from US. Then, it was expected that I will see some sexy girls come up on the stage and dance with many disciplines, wild, erotic... oh ok, I couldn't find any 'shiny post' on the stage, but, yes there were girls with small cloths.

In fact, the sexiest dancer of the night was a man who came up and stripped all his cloths except his underware before he started to dance like donkey.

Yaaaa, that was the only factor that made me stuck to the channel. To watch the 'weird people' who think they can dance but obviously even a chicken knows they can't. That was the 'cursed' weirdo.

However, at the other side of the coin, there were also 'weird' people with awing performance, admiring and "How he did that?". It was robot dance, street dance, or break dance, popper, that can only be done by cartoons or aliens. May be those guys are really actually aliens who found out that the best way to invade earth is by participating reality show audition and make people love them before thay can kill the people by inspiring dance with knives. haha.

There were two 'freak' weirdos that I wanted to tell here, well, actually they were why I wrote this entry.

One of them is a man with gold mask on the face, thin, tall like peter crouch and ..... weird. That audition, last night, was his third try, and he was weirdly unstoppable. I don't know what kind of dance he was trying to show but, it was really really ugly. The judges went crazy by moving and dancing on their chairs following him.

"Smile when you're dancing, smile pls." said Nigel to the 'masked' man.

"At least he gives us good exercise," said Mia.

Mary laughed.

Later, for the third time he was rejected shamely. Stepping out of the audition room he said in front of the camera, "I don't know why they reject me. My dancing is the best (the best? wth??), the music was great. My fans told that my dance is fantastic. They keep telling me to come again and try because they know my talent. They (the judges) are weird. They know nothing. I could see other guys dance very bad but accepted. (sob sob... the thin and tall grown up man cried). I will make sure they (the judges) will regret this!"

Kelakar gile!

So this was what we called 'twisted' paradigm. He tought he was good, but come on, can't he really see that other people see otherwise? You are freak, man!

Oh, may be he said, 'I don't care what people said, I know what I am doing, the people just don't know'.

That is true in a way, but you cannot disregard the 'social mirror' all together. The people are the mirrors. They might be wrong about you, but the wrong thing they are saying must be analyzed fairly.

And please take note on this, "my fans told that my dance is fantastic."

Come on man, your fans must be laughing at you now.

If you are about to praise your friend on something (cooking, singing, writing, playing, speeching, being funny etc) praise him/her fairly and honestly. Tell him/her what he/her deserves from the genuine judgement of your heart. Don't over dose, or praise without integrity just to make him/her happy. If he deserves complaint instead of praise, many ways to make a complaint sweeter than a praise. I will tell how later.

The second weirdo called Sex. It was a man with thick glasses, short thick khakis pant, white shirt, shoulder level brown hair and a firm gutsy smile. He danced like 'ultraman dance' created by MMU's student but in another weird way. May be because of the glasses, shirt and shorts.

"Do you dance professionally?" said Mia.

"Yes."

"You took classes?"

"Yes."

"Who your teacher, I need to know because obviously you make no improvement."

"My teacher is the... best... dancing teacher... in the country."

Nigel said, "I knew you. why you name yourself Sex? your name is david and i will call you david. you took many auditions in many program not just here. what do you want? Do you want to be on TV and look stupid? What are you doing?"

"I am dancing." frustrated Sex said.

"No you don't." said Nigel.

Sex left the stage while Nigel was still talking.

Enough with the weirdos. Huh. I am wasting my time.

The third dancer I wanted to story here was a girl. She was the one who touched my heart because she has sight problem and the unability seems to make her stronger. I dont know whether she is totally blind or, partly, but I could see her effort to be normal and... dance. It wasnt good dance, but at least she was there dancing in front of TV.

"Has she seen somebody dancing before?"

"I learnt it by standing beside a dancer who's teaching me, then I would know." she said.

Mia cried when she commented. "I had a friend. She was a dancer. And she loss her sight in an accident. You had touch me. I know all the dancers here gave 20% of their attention and effort, but you 90%. I know you will be a good artist but tonight, I am sorry I can't put you thru. This is a hard competition. Your dance just lack of technic."

Nigel said that if they put her through it would be patronizing to her. It was a critic and rejection, but it was made in a beautiful way by the judges. The blind girl cried and smiled, which I can see the emotion growing inside her telling her to be more strong and determined in her life.

That's how a complaint can be sweeter than a praise.

p/ssss:

(After google about the show, the show I watched last night was 4th season last year.)

(The conversations might be not the same as I don't write them down)

(Forgive the weirdos, as we can be one. Am I?)

****Post End*******

Jenayah Rogol

2009-10-12T14:35:00.003+08:00

(Ketagih seks selepas dirogol)

Kasihan. Selalunya kalau selepas dirogol, trauma akan buat sarang di kepala. Tetapi perkara sebaliknya yang berlaku kepada si gadis ini. Ketagihan bersarang di kelangkang. Entah bagaimana perogol itu melakukan jenayah itu dengan penuh hemah sampai budak ini ketagihan. 

Semasa saya menumpang sebuah teksi untuk ke Central Plaza di Jln Tun Ismail, saya dan supir berbual.

"Khairi, sepanjang setahun duk KL ni, apa benda yang pelik yg mung dah tengok?"

Aku jawab. "Seorang gadis pakai kebaya tapi pusatnya nampak."

"Ceh. Itu pelik? Kesian aku kat mung ni."

Ek ele... mamat ni.

"Ni nak cerita ko mung. Aku pernah bowok teksi ni, masuk sorang penumpang perempuan, masih remaja, cantik kemudian cakap kat aku, 'bang, boleh abang jual saya, mana-mana aje, saya nak duit ni."

Oh, Allah, betulkah? "Jolo ko?" (Jolo = betul)

"Ha la."

"Makan sendiri lah?" Jahatnya aku.

"Fikir anak bini, tak berani beb! Kalau tengok budak tu, alim mana pun tak tahan, ikhlas cakap."

"Ye lah. Patut disebat kalau cari zina sampai ke Hatyaai. Tapi yg datang bergolek depan mata ni, dugaan para nabi. Kalau orang biasa macam kita, mahu lingkup!"

"Betul tu. Kawan aku pernah kena. Sorang pompuan, naik teksi, duit takde. Katanya, 'abang jom naik ke rumah saya la dulu (flet), kita kira langsai kat sana.' last2 sekali, pompuan tu rekod guna kamera litar tertutup, then peras ugut nak charge rogol. Nak report boleh, tapi malu tentu dapat."

"Sebab tu ramai perempuan dalam neraka. Cari duit senang."

"Masalahnya depa tarik kita 'ke dalam' sama." Gelak.

Hidup mereka pasti penuh dengan keluh kesah. Harap-harap dosa mereka terampun. ~ Khairi

A big Win...

2009-10-12T09:58:00.005+08:00

Praise to Allah & solawat to Rasulullah...

salam to all friends...

Yesterday night, when it was announced earlier on TV, I already knew who won. (kalo PAS menang pukul 12 malam duk mengira lagi) I did not expect PR will win but, you know, as a PAS supporter, there is always a wish for a surprise. 10 majority would do.

However, the surprise did not come the way I prayed for, but otherwise. The 5000++ majority shocked me lil bit. How come it doubled? Normal votes and postal votes both increased.

Well, people choice. Congratulations BN.

(cilok from (Malaysiakini) - sukanya dia, ni dapat duit ke dapat 'tanggungjawab ni?)

I did not know what Tan Sri Isa did few years ago, but I repeatedly read that he was an icon of corruption. I did not want to checked this out, whether it is true or not. For me, past is past, it a lesson, not a reason. Therefore, I do really hope that he learned his lesson and has become a better man to serve the people best.

I agreed with Dr MAZA that we must vote for the PERSON not the PARTY that person represented. If both men from 'blue corner' and 'green corner' are at the same level, then the party factor should be taken into the consideration. The local people sometimes know better than what political party knows, and may be the candidate, from local people view, is less suitable.

And as a unit of community, we therefore must have our own conscience to choose. Listen to others talks without own idea will bring us no where. I knew how 'wakil rakyat' at kedai kopi talked at Kelantan. They listened and they quoted back before they cheered themselves up or they cursed what they listened, that's all.

This type of mentality that has brought up fight on the street on the polling day. Shouting2, Ejek-mengejek, 'booo', ayyoo come on lah, all already grown up what? Be professional and use the brain given by Allah. I know how to be in an 'emotional' group like the crowd in the stadium watching soccer. It was like the brain is driven by the group emotion, you can go crazy with them. That's why we have to think above that. Right?

p/s: Mas, thanks makan2 kat open house ko. Mee johor hang mmg slurrppp! syedap. x sempat amik gambar laks.

Kisah Maisara

2009-10-09T14:21:00.003+08:00

Saya terpaksa hentikan perjalanan Alex 2 untuk beralih kepada 'Kisah Maisara' (KM). Ini kerana gaya penulisan KM lebih dekat dengan profile Xarine di JS.

KM adalah satu cerita dahulu kala yang amat dekat dengan saya. Kadang kala, sebelum saya mengetuk keyboard untuk bercerita, saya terlebih dahulu mengalirkan air mata. Saya seterusnya jadi malu sendiri kalau-kalau apabila rasa itu diterjemah ke dalam kata, ia tidak mengesankan apa-apa.

Elemen cinta itu tidak boleh dipisahkan, akan tetapi tidak semestinya ia perlu ditonjolkan hingga meleleh. KM mahu menceritakan penderitaan, kesengsaraan, pergelutan hidup gadis kampung yang saya namakan Maisara. Di tangan kirinya cinta remaja, di tangan kanannya keluarga, berjalanlah Maisara merentasi idealogi-idealogi gila penduduk kampungnya dan seranah-seranah dunia yang buta.

Maisara dan Imran (BBKS) tidak mengenali satu sama lain walaupun tinggal di kampung yang sama. Mereka ada di dua dunia berbeza, dan latar berbeza, biar realitinya mereka berdua tidak pernah wujud. Saya masih kekal bercerita di sana (pasir pekan), kerana ada banyak nostalgia yang wujud yang mahu saya abadikan dalam penulisan saya. Saya perlukan imaginasi-imaginasi 'mudah' ini untuk bantu saya belajar menulis. Agar selepas ini saya mampu mencipta 'imaginasi-imaginasi' itu sendiri. InsyaAllah.

Saya pernah menjawab dalm FB JS bahawa novel yang baik itu, pada pendapat saya yang kecil ini, adalah novel yang berjaya menjadikan fiction seperti realiti. Realiti yang busuk ditaip dengan baik sehingga berbau busuknya tetapi olahan penulis yang bijak menjadikan pengajarannya berguna. Kata-kata carutan, makian, hinaan, dan perbuatan kotor tidak dapat dielakkan untuk menghidupkan watak busuk itu. Dalam BBKS, unsur ini tiada kerana ia disusun penuh tertib oleh si Imran yang sopan-santun.

Hidup tidak mungkin indah kalau adanya baik tanpa sebaliknya. Seperti tidak mungkinnya makhluk hidup makan tanpa hasilkan tahi. Diciptakan begitu untuk kita merasai, bermain, dan tambah menambah sebelum kembali ke sana.

Y conscience first...

2009-10-08T13:07:00.008+08:00

Continued from here
Praise to Allah and salam to all friends...

Physical practice in Islam starts with solat. With the doa's, the movements, and the meditation, solat is a perfect exercise to build clear conscience. Clear conscience leads to beautiful akhlak and a group of people with conscience wisdom (beautiful akhlak) leads to a beautiful syariah, beautiful community, and beautiful world.

All starts with YOU, like a brick of a house. And your strength are the soul (conscience), the heart (emotional wisdom) and followed by the brain (IQ) and other physical equipments (manifestations). Let Islam be your advisor or principles.

***

Nowadays, it is a time of confusion. The wrong seems right, the right seems wrong, and you need to read a bunch of books, to listen to scholars from many races, many countries, many eras, and you finally have to choose. The question is, how to choose when you yourselves have to listen/read from others?

Your conscience will tell.

I remember long time ago, a teacher told me that Islam is perfect in a way that all things are explained, not even a single code left out. It teaches us from how to lead a country until how to cut our nails. It teaches us from the biggest things to the smallest thing.

For me, it is correct in one of either two ways.

First, it is CLOSED. Like the law books. Everything seems to be in there, complete and perfect. You cannot change, add or reduce. The only thing you need to do is to follow the code. It is like a cage, rigid and small. This is how many scholars undermined/devalued your conscience.

Second, it is OPENED. Like the Quran. One verse, multiple meanings. It is really all there. The only thing left is, you have to honestly judge which interpretation of the verse fit your purpose. Therefore, in every situations you have to think, analyze, and conclude what is the best 'interpretation' for particular situation. This is how Allah gives your soul, your heart and your physical tools the highest values He had ever given.

***

We have to understand what is fundamental (asas) in our religion, and what is optional (cabang). Which code comes directly from Quran and Hadith, which from debate, personal view, personal conclusion (ijtihad) and so forth. [click here]

Many of us, unfortunately, have the 'closed' mentality. Followers (taklid). Because we are afraid to rationalize the deen, afraid of being wrong. In fact, the moment we 'unthinkingly' follow, is the ultimate wrong. At the same time we curse the teenagers who follow western lifestyle blindly (membabi buta), we should also curse who follow a teaching blindly.

The fundamental is fix, however the discussion of it must be renewed from time to time. Despite we are living in digital era, deen is always analogue. There is no yes or no answer, as it can be both. It is not black and white as it is always gray. Therefore, we must put together all resources to renew our deen honestly.

***

It is all about honesty (ehsan). The simple meaning of being honest is, you do not do something that you do not want others do to you.

Let me talk...

2009-10-07T12:45:00.007+08:00

Praise to Allah, salam to all friends...

It has been a miracle to see Absyar grows up day after day. The way he completes my life, I can never explain. Spending my night time with him has taken me away from books and my writing commitment, and also made me think again of setting up internet connection at home as I don't know when can I use it. Well I am not going to talk about him here.

This entry - let me talk - is for me to explain my blog.

Setiap kita adalah pemimpin. Sesungguhnya agama itu adalah nasihat. Jangan tinggalkan Islam lantaran buruknya Muslim kerana zaman tunggang terbalik sudah sampai.

I am not good in deen. You ask me what is forbidden in Islam indicated by which verse, I can't instantly tell. But I can tell you what you can do. I believe in human natural conscience that was endowed by Allah in our heart. Even with out Islam, we actually know what is right, what is wrong just by being honest.

That is basically why, I think, religion is not a factor for a human to be bad or good. It is universal issue.

Like I said when I talked to Cecile, you don't need a religion to be a 'naturally' good human, but you need the religion of God because even a good human died. And the fact that human can be 'unnaturally' bad and you have no choice except to 'play' with these people.

How much I wonder the miracle that I can live up this whole body, see my hair getting longer, feel my pulse, think, talk, see, touch, love and later I'll leave the body to rot into the earth, is how much I feel the existence of Allah that hold all souls.

This life starts with secret and ends with secret and it is impossible to know them by brain. Thus, you have to find something for you to believe (iman) and find true peace in it; and live better. Islam is my choice.

Being honest is what Islam is all about. It is also called Ehsan (or ikhlas). An honest man won't cheat even though he can do it and nobody would know. An honest man will live in his own space and take only what he deserve to take.

Ehsan must be there in the heart before anything else. That is why I need to reiterate that we MUST first teach people to be a generally good people no matter what religion they are in. Islam is a CHOICE.

So I talk moral issue generally. It comes from my deep heart with no filters in between. Alhamdulillah, I personally found that the heart voices never conflict with what I understand from Islam sources.

Islam is a principle, a book of conduct, or a tool. It is not a living thing that can express itself. It depend on us. We are the leader. Our hand that can change the world. If we interpret Islam wrongly, then Islam is wrong. And we can see the men who are Muslim act unlike a Muslim.

Therefore;

A leader must first have a clear conscience, so that Islam can be his best advisor.

continued here.

Krisis ekonomi dunia...

2009-10-06T09:12:00.000+08:00

p/s: terlupa nak beli pampers Absyar malam tu hehehe.

How secured are we?

2009-10-05T10:15:00.006+08:00

Around me, last few days, people are dying. Man loss wife, mother loss daughter, a boy loss a girl. Everybody were all speaking about the dying neighbors, collapsed schools, warded relatives.

I did not know whether the Samoa tsunami, the Philippine hurricane, the Padang quake are all connected, but they all did connect in one way. The Power of the God. The powerless human.

***

If the sun is taken away, we are dead within 10 minutes. What can we do?

***

All the while, as their neighbors, we sometimes felt the side effect of the disasters. The spark of the fire. The tail of the fox. But I wonder, until when?

Are all our buildings equipped with earth quake protection? I am at level 14 or called as 13A everyday, at the center of the city. How many days left before this building also shockingly collapsed due to earth quake, left me wondering.

***

Have you ever be neutral in religion? I mean, pull out yourself from the religion you are in now, and be neutral. No pray, no ritual, no doa, no God. Atheist. Then, find the God from whatever sources that may exist or may be you can finally say that there is no God at all.

Trust me, thinking of death, are the only thing that make God exist.

I never stop wondering of life. The way it started, the way it end (for somebody) always remind me of how small I am in knowing something. How big is the Creator, I will never know. People who live without religion, always 'feel' like they are living... forever.

So they changed the 4, 14 and 24th floor to 3A, 13A, and 23A floor, as 4 remind them that they are going to die.

***

The moment we loss one of our tooth, we may think back of God if someday we will loose all the teeth, the flesh, the kidneys, the brain and the ticking pulse on our wrist.

Where are we going then?

***

I used to put myself in my friends shoes. My friends who were already gone, some in accidents and some because of disease. I remember their smiles, their words, their gestures. When I talked to their fathers, as if I talked to my father after my own death.

How will people talk about me when I died? Where am I then? What I am thinking?

What in the world would I were doing at that moment of time?

Thinking of that, there is no way I can live even for a second without believing in the God.

I know this live is not a test, it is a gift. And I know that I should appreciate this gift, and make other people realize of this wonderful gift given to them. Such so we all live happily and respect each other. Tell me what make you sad and I will help you to solve it. Allah promise everything for good people, such as the garden that you can't believe your eyes when you see it.

I know that I am far away from that. I made mistakes and I don't deserve even to see the garden. I want all of you be there, and I am proud to be the last.

***

After I died, I just hope that I have a friend over there so that I can ask him, what should I do? Which door should I go? How can I apply for apology? Why should I do this and that.

***

At a corner of the world, a prince made his car of silver and diamonds.

At another corner, a boy 'made' his food out of a mud. He has only skin and bones.

***

How can I laugh in my life?

***

Latihan jegil mata. huhu

2009-10-01T14:40:00.006+08:00

Terima kaih vote saya hehehe.